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Medical school (and life as a doctor) is a never ending journey. Between placement, lectures, long shifts, studying for exams, and managing the chaos of rotations, finding time for friendships and relationships can seem impossible. But here's the truth: those relationships are more important than ever. So, a question I always have is how do I maintain these friendships when I feel like I have no time at all?
Here are some things I’ve been thinking about:
In the medical journey there are highs and lows, moments of triumph, and moments of sheer exhaustion. And that’s where friendships come in. Having a close friend (or two, three or more!) can make all the difference.
Your friends in medical school / workplace
Friends within medicine offer emotional support, a space to vent, and someone who understands when things get overwhelming. They’re there to celebrate the small and the big victories with you! Importantly, they help keep you grounded, reminding you that you're more than just a student or a doctor—you’re a human, too.
In medicine, your colleagues start to become like family. You spend countless hours together, with the shared experiences creating sometimes very strong bonds. With intention, some of these bonds can become lasting friendships.
The key is being intentional. Even though you’re all busy, taking time to connect beyond just studying or working goes a long way. Grabbing lunch between lectures, sending a text asking how a friend is handling their shift, or sharing a funny meme to lighten the mood are all ways to show your intent.
Your friends outside of work!
Having relationships outside of medicine however is just as crucial. It’s easy to get sucked into the "medical bubble," but friends from other walks of life can provide perspective and a reminder that there’s more to life than the next patient or case. They help you recharge and maintain your sanity!
Sometimes, the last thing you want to do after a long day is socialise. But keeping in touch with friends outside of school or work is key to balancing your life. Whether it’s a weekly phone call, a spontaneous catch-up, or just sending a quick message, maintaining those connections helps you feel less isolated.
You don’t need to hang out every weekend or host big get-togethers. It’s the small, consistent efforts that count. Even just a quick text or a “Hey, how’s your week been?” can make a huge difference in maintaining friendships when you’re stretched thin.
Balancing it all
Overall, to maintain your relationships as a medic, you must balance study time, clinical work, and your personal life. One thing that helps me is scheduling ‘dates’ with my friends on my calendar, just like I would schedule a shift or the time I will spend in the library. This allows me to plan in advance and protect the time I have for my friends. I’ve also learned that it’s okay to say no sometimes – you can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritize the moments that matter and be realistic about what you can handle. Your friends will understand, especially if you communicate openly about it.
Acknowledging the guilt that comes with saying no.
Unfortunately, there is always the guilt that comes with saying no, or with having a schedule so packed that you miss a birthday, a wedding, or even cancel plans three times in a row. I find this to be a normal feeling among medics, where we feel torn between our personal and professional lives. However, it's important not to let that guilt consume you.
When you do get time to spend with your loved ones, it’s important to stay engaged with your friends and loved ones, even when you don’t have much time. Be mentally present as well as physically present. Taking the time to do these things reminds you that there is more to life than work and exams.
Stay connected!
At the end of the day, your friendships and relationships are what will keep you going during the tough times. They remind you that you're not alone on this journey and that there’s more to life than just the next clinical task or study session. So, even when life gets hectic, make the time. Your friends (and you) will be grateful.
And speaking of making time for the people who matter—International Women's Day is just around the corner! If you're looking for a great way to connect with your peers and celebrate the women who support and inspire you, consider joining us for a special International Women's Day Brunch. It’s the perfect opportunity to take a break from the grind, share a meal, and celebrate friendship, empowerment, and the incredible women in our lives.
Mark your calendars, and let’s make time for each other!
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